Amazing describes this so accurately because I could have never imagined Matt and I going down this path. First of all, I have a very low pain tolerance. I actually passed out when I got my ear pierced when I was young. I cried if I stubbed my toe. And secondly, I never understood why anyone would chance not having their baby at a hospital? Our journey truly began three years earlier when I was about 20 weeks pregnant and expecting Luke. Matt and I were thrilled and sat in our hospital mandated New Parent's Education Class. We had found an OB/GYN in the area and she was nice enough. Not exactly warm or friendly but very experienced. We had started our rotations at her practice and found some of the drs were wonderful and others left so much to be desired. We were new to this whole thing, why would we question it. But that Saturday class our views began to shift. Our instructor began to go through the section regarding what to expect in labor and delivery. As an employee of the hospital I was amazed that she was so open and keen on the idea of really deciding what you want out of your delivery. What matters most to you as a family, mother and to your newborn. She recited the C section statistics of the various hospitals, why drs encourage scheduled inductions, etc. I was shocked, upset and scared. I left that day feeling utterly sick and disgusted. I did not even know what I wanted, how could I have overlooked so much. Then the research began. I developed a birthing plan and discussed it with OB/GYN at our next visit. She listened to me, made a note in my chart and that was that. Easy enough I thought. Hmm. Okay. I decided shortly after that, I wanted a natural child birth. Matt and I took a crash course in HypnoBirthing and I read as much as I could and did all of the exercises. I was ready and very excited! Three weeks later, 2am my water breaks. I called my OB/GYN and let her know what had happened. Granted it was early in the morning but her response was, "Great I will get the pitocin started." Why, my water had broken? Remember I want to do a natural birth. Her reply was, "We will see once you are at the hospital." Strike 1. I get to the hospital, I had baked cookies for the staff, they were very welcoming and encouraging. It was a fairly slow night and I was able to get the big suite with the tub. Labor started progressing and three years later it is funny what you remember. The nurse had trouble getting the IV in my arm. I easily dehydrate and my veins were already so small, for weeks my arms were lined with bruises at those futile attempts. Two nurses later I was finally getting fluids. My sister showed up and so sweetly brought breakfast. I was not allowed to have food, uggh and Matt was starving.....he had an everything bagel with cream cheese and coffee. Oh that smell will haunt me forever. The pain had gotten so strong and my senses must have been at their peek because I could smell that wretched scent across the room and almost threw up. I would walk back and forth between the bed, bathroom and tub, attached to an IV. It was 10:30am, the nurse checked me. 4 centimeters dilated. I could barely breathe through the contractions, I was sweating and then getting cold. 15 minutes passed and I looked at Matt. We had truly wanted a natural birth and I was prepared for it but I could not make it. I could not handle it. I looked at him and said, "I think I need the epidural." With no hesitation, he took my hand and called the nurse in to tell her. I felt so defeated. What came next, changed the course of my experience. The nurse looked at me and said so matter of factly, "You are doing so well. I need to check you again." I am so grateful I had a nurse that knew her job and what to look for. Looked at each patient and their wants rather than what was easiest for her. She checked me, I was 9cm. I remember her smile and she said, "No wonder, you are ready to have this baby. I can get the epidural but I know you want a natural birth and I think you can do this." I asked her how much longer it would be and she, obviously, did not know. She called my dr and a few minutes later I had the urge to push. Where was the dr.? 15, 20, 30 minutes past....no sign of the dr and the office was just next door. Strike 2. The heart rate dropped I was on all fours and so scared and tired. Stop pushing they shouted. Stop pushing, really? I could not. My sister held my hand, Matt ran out into the hall and grabbed a nurse and in a few choice words asked, "Where is the dr?" I know now at about this time Grams and Pax had arrived and were hoping to see us but were told the baby was almost here. I remember the OB/GYN arriving, arrogant but ready to deliver. Luke was coming now, sunny side up. No wonder the pain was so excruciating. The cord was caught around his neck but his heart rate stayed strong. At 12:30pm on April 17, 2007 Luke Stephen arrived at 6 pounds 11 ounces. Jamie was such a trooper, she had not expected to be there for the delivery and left a few minutes after. She told me it was an experience and had to go lay down. I recovered in the hospital for the next several days, proud of what I had accomplished, excited about our new family.
Fast forward, 15 months and we find out we are pregnant! We went back to the same OB practice we had gone to before but saw a different dr. Dr. Bray was wonderful- friendly, caring, relatable. Funny how you tend to forget the negative things that happen to you but as I started rotating through the practice it all came back. Coincidentally, I got a prenatal massage from a good friend of mine, Rochelle. She was pregnant and had just decided to have a natural birth at a birthing center. We discussed the idea and I was intrigued. A place that is supportive of natural child birth, midwives that are extensively trained and knowledgeable and partner with the mother through the process. I was not sure how I felt about this idea. I watched a documentary called, "The Business of Being Born," and began reading books, "Birthing from Within" by Ina May Gaskin.......Matt and I started having conversations and decided to visit the center. This is where I wanted to have my baby. It was a family environment- Luke was encouraged to come and help listen to the baby's heart beat. They wanted to know about me, about our family, about what I had envisioned for my birth. My appointments were never rushed or hurried. They encouraged me to call with any questions. I did and actually spoke with a midwife at any hour of the day. I began my training for the natural birth as well. I call it training because it was to me. I have found the power of the mind to do miraculous things. I began to visualize how I wanted my birth to be, what it would feel like, how labor would progress. There is no doubt that this preparation allowed for such an 'easy' delivery.
Natural child birth has been one of the most miraculous experiences of my life. There are so many things we work and labor for in life but the joy of giving life to a child can not be compared. Natural child birth is not for everyone. Doctors are highly specialized and trained in high risk or emergency situations. Their training is crucial and know how is extremely important during these deliveries but for me, a low risk patient I have found these two experiences empowered me to be a better mother. I, intuitively, understand myself and my capabilities better.
So with all of this, we are getting ready for another little guy to join our family. We have found an amazing doula, Jacie, and will be delivering at Mountain Midwifery Birthing Center. I am excited to prepare for this next wonderful experience.
