Excited Mommy-To-Be!

Matt and I are so excited to be expecting Baby Klasnick #3. Due date- May 9, 2011. After Matt sat on the floor and took a few deep breathes, he was able to tell me that he was thrilled, shocked, not ready and so ready all at once. We feel so lucky to nurture this growing life and add to the love of our family.

Both Luke and Eli were born in Florida so this is the first pregnancy I have had in Colorado. The usual all day nausea and tiredness have passed but the out of breathe and unquenchable thirst are all new to me. I blame it on the altitude- 5280 feet ya know. To my surprise, there is only one free standing birth facility in Colorado but lucky for me it is only 20 minutes from our house. After my first appointment, I feel confident in the midwives and in my ability to have natural, comfortable birth there. My only surprise came in their advice for me to get a first tri-meseter ultrasound. Their main reason being that we needed to pinpoint the due date since Eli's birth went so quickly. I get that and got one. One sweet little heartbeat and a healthy little one~

And today my heart broke.

The past few weeks this heart of mine has been full of sadness. Welling up with tears that my eyes can no longer cry. Sometimes it just seems unbearable. The feeling of being helpess, not knowing what to do or to say. Loved ones broken down, mother's with heartaches and knowledge that will change their world forever, and friend's struggles.

I have come to know the Matthew's family from a friend in Florida. I have followed their blog and while I have never been able to wrap my arm's around them and pour love into their hearts their story has changed me. Changed my heart. http://thematthewsstory.com/ Today, my heart broke. It just could not handle the sadness.

Oh how I squeeze Luke a little tighter each time I see him and kiss Eli one more time before I lay him down. Grateful, thankful. Each and every prayer said in hopes of bringing peace to hurting hearts and for God's perfect love to surround his children.

And the tears came.

Last night at about 9:15pm I hear a sniffle and a whimper and a beckoning, "Mom, mom...." barely audible come from Luke and float down the stairs. He has been perfecting his stall tactics lately so I thought this was part of the scheme. Once I got into his room, he collapsed into my arms. Sobbing, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Mommy, the trampoline was in my mouth and it would not let my mouth close." "The swisher was loud and I was scared." "I wanted to get out of the chair and the dentist said I had to sit as still as a statue." "It took so long." "They put medicine on it." "I don't want to go to the dentist."

Wow, a flood of emotions. Turns out this was all tied to his root canal and filling from two weeks ago that he proclaimed was "no biggie". Luke is a thinker and from what I can tell he held in all of these emotions and fear, thinking about them since the visit. The morning before he had come into my bedroom at 5am and asked me when he had to go to the dentist and I thought nothing of it. Oh, poor thing had been carrying this weight all alone.

What a true lesson for me to remember, to really listen to what my child tells me. Maybe I should have been able to sense his fear that morning or brought up the dental visit again a few days after the procedure to make sure he still felt comfortable with what had happened. For Luke, I now know that just because he carries a smile on his face does not mean he is smiling in his heart.

So today we ventured over to the dental office again and he had a "fun" visit. Brushed his teeth, got a prize. They said they would send us a card in 6 months so that we could come back again for a cleaning and Luke replied with, "Sounds good. See you next week." I am hoping we have cleared the air with this one.

3 in 4.

21 pounds, 2 ounces, Eli's new weight. He is not on the charts just yet but is close. He gained 3 pounds in 4 weeks, great news! We got the results back from the pediatric endocrinologist and it turns out his acid levels are still low but she said that IF he can continue to gain weight she is not as concerned. In two tests, she was able to detect human growth hormone, she found normal fat levels in his fecal specimens and his Vitamin D levels are right where they should be although most of it coming from the sun not his diet. She said she is very pleased with they way everything looks and confirmed with a pediatric nephrologist that the acid levels are not worrisome with the weight gain. Thank you Lord for keeping watch over my beloved son.

So, what did we do? Pretty much stopped feeding him fruits and vegetables. If you give Eli a plate of french fries, chicken nuggets and peas he will eat the peas and beg for more leaving all else for the birds. While I am not completely comfortable and am sure this will not be our lifestyle I am confident it will not hurt him for a few months. Matt asked me a few weeks back to change his diet, cut out the green smoothies, be a bit more lenient with refined sugars and add some meat to his diet. For me it is going to be about finding balance in the coming months with what I feel is a healthy diet for him and what will keep his weight up.

Little peanut.

Eli always has been a little peanut. When he was born he weighed in at 6 lbs, 12 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long. At his check ups he always fell between the 25th-30th percentile for height and weight. At about a year old his weight started to fall to 20th%, 15%, down to -5%. I could always attribute this to something- him being an early walker and expending lots of energy, to my extended breastfeeding. However, at his 18 month check up he continued to fall further away from the normal growth curve so our pediatrician recommended we get blood work and an urine analysis done on Eli.

I have to say I was shocked when he called me a week later to say that some of the results were abnormal. In my heart of hearts, I felt that he was okay. He is hitting everything other milestone and perfect otherwise. However, two of the numbers need to be looked at further. One is his acid level. Eli's is at 17 and the normal range is 20-32. The second is the growth hormone marker. The normal range is 55-303 and Eli is below 25 (undetectable.) At this point, we are scheduled to see a pediatric endocrinologist middle of the month. My pediatrician and another wonderful friend who is a doctor as well (thank you Clancy) assured me that while these need to be attended to, both are treatable and will be taken care of.

While we are confident Eli will continue to be a thriving, healthy and growing boy it still stirs my heart to know that I can not make this all better for him. But, it is in God's hands and I am grateful this is what he gave us to deal with (as there are other families dealing with far harder issues), grateful for a doctor who cared enough to notice, grateful for a little boy who for some reason does not mind getting pricked and prodded as long as there is a lollipop in hand, and grateful for a husband who keeps my emotions from running rampant.

Eli, thank you dear boy for all of your laughs and giggles.

Summer does a body good- part 2.

This summer Eli~

1. Was a beach impostor, he could walk the walk but could not talk the talk. He admired from a far or on my hip.

2. Fell in love with the tractor ride.

3. Tore it up on the dance floor.

4. Found a BFF. His cousin, Evelyse.

5. Gave himself a makeover. I knew this day would come. The boy loves to stack, open and play with my make-up. Give him 10 minutes with a tube of lipstick and he has the look of a broadway star.

6. Both laughed and smirked, in true Eli form.

Hello Fall!

Summer does a body good.

This summer Luke~

1. Perfected his 7th inning stretch song and is ready to belt it out at the big leagues.

2. Became fully potty trained. Oh, I thought this would never happen but with a little luck and free reign to pee off the porch if need be, the kid got motivated.

3. Became a huge fan of the cannon ball and various snorkeling techniques. He is hoping for an air tank.

4. Declares himself to be a surf expert.

5. Had his first trip to the dentist. I thought he might escape my "bad teeth gene" but no can do. Two cavities with a possibility of a baby root canal. He showed self restraint, a positive attitude and willingness to try.

6. Enjoyed lots of special treats on our trip to Florida. I think all the love made up for any ill effects this may have had on his health.